Dr Mark Goulston was a professor of psychiatry at UCLA for over 25 years. He is the author of multiple books including 'Just Listen' which has been translated into 28 languages and has become the world's leading book on listening. He is currently one of Marshall Goldsmith's 100 coaches and recently discovered that he is suffering from a terminal illness. This episode is deeply personal, powerful and inspiring.
Mark contemplates his own mortality in this episode as he reflects, hopes and inspires.
Mark outlines the extent of his current condition, medical treatment and desire to share with the world some of his most powerful life lessons.
Mark's specialist area during his professional career was death and dying and that gave him a front row seat of what makes a good death and what makes a bad death. He used to do house calls to help people, especially those with suicidal tendencies.
Mark remembers a very powerful conversation with a patient who had seen great success in his life and who said to him 'I have all the love money can buy, however everything I thought was important isn't and everything I thought wasn't important is and i've run out of time to fix and I don't like that.' Mark himself is at peace because he has lived his entire life to his core values of kindness, generosity, service and curiosity.
Too many people climb a ladder all their life only to discover it's on the wrong wall.
Mark's criteria for a good death is to avoid pain and suffering but surround himself with a good team of both family and medical experts. Mark wants to be with the right people not necessarily the smartest people. He wants to consider the human being not just the human doing.
Mark's condition has required him to be emotionally honest with those he loves the most. These conversations has taught Mark the power of connection, authenticity, humility and compassion. True vulnerability is not a sign of helplessness but a sign of courage and absolute human connection. The reality is that we have very few 'raw' emotional conversations with those that we love.
Mark urges all leaders to emotionally know the people that they love and really connect with the people that they lead. It is an honour and not a burden to really care.
Mark explains that if you can identify a feeling you are having and you just allow yourself to feel it, it dissipates in 90 seconds. However 99% of people will get emotional and run from those feelings.
Mark's model for coaching leaders is for them to engender trust, confidence, respect, safety, admiration and inspiration, it also helps to be liked by those you lead!
Three areas where leaders need to make good judgement calls are strategy, people and crisis.
Visionary leaders do not see the unknown as a danger to be avoided and feared but an adventure to be dived into and lived. They define reality, declare their intentions to make it so and decide on a strategy to make it happen.
Please enjoy on the most powerful episodes to date.
Mark has created a series of 'I'm dying to tell you' videos on YouTube
www.youtube.com/@Imdyingtotellyoudrmark
Watch & Subscribe: 👀 https://www.youtube.com/@theleadersenigma/videos
Listen & Subscribe: 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/show/5NSnRyHzPmyY5OWhGzKU5P
www.leadersenigma.com